i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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