Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
