But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
