I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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