I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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