doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
