he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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