Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
