He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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