My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
