I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
