barbara walters just said penis...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Couch. On fire.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
