My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
