The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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