She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
