Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
