i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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