I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
