Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
