Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
