hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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