Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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