Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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