3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Too much gin, very little bucket
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
