Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize