using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
