I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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