so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
