that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
