I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
