He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
