mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
