Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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