One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
