My underwear smells like fireworks.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize