He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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