I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
