If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
