Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ketchup is God's man juice
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
