I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
