wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
