I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
