So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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