I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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