The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
