You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
