I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
