My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
