She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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