never play flip cup with pint glasses
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
