I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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