If i come over, it means nothing
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
