Dual....:-)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
