That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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