actually, I'm a sock model
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
