He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
