would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize