I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize