I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize