Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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