two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize