Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
