if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
