last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
as a side note pls kill me
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
