They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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