I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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