This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think my moral compass just broke
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