idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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