I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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